honeynutgiornos:

honeynutgiornos:

*takes a deep breath* I will not let this fictional character ruin me

failed step one

itsstuckyinmyhead:

The Sims Tumblr Posts

Diana: If our son died when he was 18 months old, then why do I remember him as an exceedingly attractive 24-year old man with perfect teeth?
Dan: I think we should see Dr. Madden now.

if ur sad do not fear friend i am sending puppies to help u

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artemisfowlstolemysoul:

Being a nice person is so fun

Waiter messes something up? You can see the relief on their faces when you don’t scream and swear at them about it

Extra tickets at an arcade/prize place? Watch a little kid’s face light up when you give them a bunch of tickets

There are too many assholes in this world. Be a nice person.

writingonthecastlewalls:

The Best of Nathan Filion’s “No Day”

redsuns-n-orangemoons:

i-write-wrongs:

realest thing I’ve seen in a while

this was so amazing. so thought provoking. an eye-opening social criticism.

shockyhorror:

beaky-peartree:

mariahwolf:

beaky-peartree:

Why do people act like being a vampire is so fucking great. You can’t eat garlic bread so what’s the point

Okay first of all fuck garlic bread

What the fuck. What thef. Uck. You come on here, you come into my house, you take a shit on my post you shit on garlic bread, you shit on everything I stand for, on this, the day of my daughter’s wedding… .

kahario:

I CANT BREATHE

kahario:

I CANT BREATHE

yayasmeen:

I think my selfie problem is getting out of hand..

fasterfood:

"God damn it!" i yell as i stub my toe on a table. suddenly from the sky, i hear god reply "okay". the floor splits open, revealing a pit to hell. god pushes the table down into the pit, and then it seals up. he actually did it. god damned it.

musicals-are-punk-rock:

"so there’s a great new musical"

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"i saw a good musical today"

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"have you heard of this musical"

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"i love this one musical"

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"so i heard about a new musical"

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"who wants to talk about musicals"

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